Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
My husband and I married in 1996.
We had two awesome children, in addition to my amazing daughter from a previous marriage.
We had planned on retiring to Oregon after the kids were grown, living out our days in rocking chairs on the front porch.
We just didn’t know.
We didn’t know my husband would get sick.
We didn’t know he would eventually pass away in 2020, at the age of 57, after 24 years of marriage, and 21 years of being a father.
We didn’t know.
Following my husband’s death, after all of the grief, and anger, and sadness, and resentment I went through, here’s what I believe now:
It was always going to happen that way.
We can dream our dreams, and plan our lives, but the truth is we don’t know what the future holds, and how, or when, something will end. There’s no guarantee that life will go how we think it should, or how we planned it would, whether it’s through death, divorce, or unexpected breakup.
But that’s how it has always been, and how it will always be.
In spite of all our knowledge, and all our modern technology, we can never predict the future.
And that’s how it was meant to be.
It’s okay to feel sad about that. And angry. And disappointed. And resentful. And hurt.
It’s okay to grieve, for as long as it takes.
But one day, when you’re ready, take a step back and look around you.
The trees are the same as they were yesterday.
So is the sky.
And the grass.
And the lakes, and rivers, and oceans, and flowers.
So are our kids, friends, family, and loved ones that are still with us.
One piece may have ended, but many others still go on.
Grieving is necessary. But try to spend an equal amount of time looking for the good, because it’s still all around you.
There will always be a reason to go on.
Find yours.
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